the phone call i wish i didn't receive

I got one of those phone calls the other day. You know, one of those phone calls that you hope and some pray that you never receive. The phone calls that send you into a whole different state of being. Yeah, I got one of those, but I was in a building where my phone doesn’t get reception and so it ended up being that I got one of those messages.

One of those messages is worse than one of those phone calls because there is no time to react, no build up. It’s one voice leaving you a message that you could never be prepared to get.

There were euphemisms and apologies to try and soften the blow. A blow that hit so hard I forgot to breathe. Even when I remembered to do so I couldn’t, and when I did it was to make a sound that resembled sobbing.

It’s surreal. Things like this don’t happen. Well, they do. On the news. In the papers. To strangers, poor strangers. This doesn’t happen to us. Not to someone I know. Until it does. She’s gone. I just saw her a little over a month ago and she’s gone. Suddenly. Tragically. Questions are still unanswered and details are still unknown and all I want to do is to wake up and for this to be a disgusting nightmare. Is it real? It is.

And now I’m missing a dear friend and wishing I was 2,000 miles from here to be with others who share the same feeling.